Nigerian Justice is not a Lady - With Temilolu Bamgbose

Justista, the Roman deity that represents justice is female. She is the ancestor of the modern-day, double-edged-sword-wielding, scale-carrying, Lady Justice who stands (or sits as the case may be) outside every courthouse or institution saddled with the responsibility of upholding the law of any community.
Yet, many people agree with the view American feminist and lawyer, Catherine Mackinnon expressed in her essay Feminism, Marxism, Method, and the State: Toward Feminist Jurisprudence, that “the state is male and the law is an expression of a male point of view…The law sees and treat women the way the men see and treat women.”
Mackinnon’s assertion is particularly true in Nigeria, in view of the language used in the Nigerian Constitution, where “his and he” were used for humans, except for sections concerning women or children, and in most cases these references emphasise the fact that women are considered second class citizens, it makes women “the other”.
“Women” was used twice in the constitution (in connection with Social Services), women were, of course, grouped with children because it stands to reason that women need “nurturing” since they are in the same group with the “disadvantaged” and are considered “vulnerable” by the Nigerian State.
This assertion is proven under the law establishing Abuja as the Federal Capital Territory which states that “Social Services and Development includes the provision of a nurturing environment for women and children in the Territory, seeing critical social enablers such as the provision of microfinance for vulnerable and disadvantage groups...” (Establishment of Functionaries and Departments) and Ministry of the Federal Capital Territory (Dissolution) Order No. 1, 2004 S.I.4 Of 2005
The word “woman” also appeared in the Nigerian Constitution twice, the first was in Section 26, subsection 2(a) which says that a person may be registered as a citizen of Nigeria if the president is satisfied that the person has good character, shown a desire to be domiciled in Nigeria and has taken the Oath of Allegiance but the section only applies to -
(a) any woman who is or has been married to a citizen of Nigeria;
What the section says in essence is that only Nigerian men can bequeath their citizenship on their spouses. So, if a Nigerian woman marries a foreigner, he is not eligible for Nigerian citizenship (kind of similar to traditional marriage in some Nigerian communities, once a woman gets married, she is no longer considered part of her parents community).
It was used again in Section 29, subsection 4(b), where, in spite of the fact that the subject of renunciation of citizenship was being addressed, our lawmakers were able to sneak in the point that “any woman who is married shall be deemed to be of full age”, and since the Matrimonial Causes Acts (CAP 220 LFN) did not provide any minimum age for marriage, it means a girl married off at say, three years of age, is considered an adult in Nigeria.
The law specifically allows an under aged married woman to revoke her citizenship even when she has not attained the constitutional voting age and there is no corresponding provision treating a male married minor as an adult. A female minor is allowed to marry, but not allowed to vote... in Nigeria.
A Police woman must submit her prospective husband details for approval before marriage. As a “vulnerable” set of creatures, the Nigerian Police insists that women police must apply for permission to marry, in case she’s stupid (as women are considered to be) enough to marry a criminal or maybe someone just not “good enough” for her.
Police Regulation Act, 124. Women police to apply for permission to marry [L.N. 93 of 1968.]

A woman police officer who is desirous of marrying must first apply in writing to the commissioner of police for the State Police command in which she is serving, requesting permission to marry and giving the name, address, and occupation of the person she in- tends to marry. Permission will be granted for the marriage if the intended husband is of good character and the woman police officer has served in the Force for a period of not less than three years. [L.N. 93 of 1968.]
The Nigerian Police is your friend, and your father and your “big brother”, looking out for you because you are the “weaker” sex and cannot make sane decisions, particularly when you’re about to make a life changing decision, like ... marriage and because of their kindness they will not allow you to marry as soon as you join the force, you need to wait for a period of three years. Unfortunately, under-aged girls do not get to enjoy this luxury because they did not join the Nigerian Police.
No similar provision is made for men, therefore a male police officer can marry anybody, at any time, because, they are the more intelligent set of human beings.
Not wanting to be left out, the Nigerian Labour law states in Section 55 that:
‘...no woman shall be employed on night work in a public or private industrial undertaking or in any branch thereof, or in any agricultural undertaking or any branch thereof.’ (2) Subsection (1) of this section shall not apply to women employed as nurses, in any public or private industrial undertaking or in any agricultural undertaking, nor to women holding responsible positions of management who are not ordinarily engaged in manual labour’.
We believe that this is due to the fact that the primary “work” of a woman is done properly “at night” preferably “in bed”. Although female nurses are exempt from this wonderful clause, female doctors are not (or maybe they were left out because there are NO female doctors in Nigeria!)
The upside of this law is that since there are no laws in place concerning sex work in Nigeria - yes you read that right, sex-work is not illegal in Nigeria( not in the constitution, criminal code or penal code were they mentioned), sex workers are allowed to work during the daytime.
Section 56 of the Act also provides:
(1) Subject to subsection (2) of this section, no woman shall be employed on underground work in any mine.  (2) Subsection (1) of this section shall not apply to:
(a) Women holding positions of management who do not perform manual labour; or 
(b) Women employed in health and welfare services; or
(c) Women who in course of their studies spend a period of training in underground parts of a mine; or
(d) Any other woman who may occasionally have to enter the underground parts of mine for the purpose of a non-manual occupation.
Nigerian women are not allowed to be miners, or archeologists, or cave explorers, except when you’re studying to be a miner or an archeologist, but after your study you may “occasionally” enter the underground parts.
In the criminal code, the indecent assault of a female as a misdemeanour punishable by imprisonment of a statutory maximum of two years (see Section 222 Criminal Code Act Cap 38 LFN). If the girl is thirteen years old, the maximum imprisonment is three years, while the same offence when committed against a male attracts punishment with a term of imprisonment of more than three years.
The above code is the endorsement of the widely held belief that boys are more “important”, more “valuable” than girls, because assaulting a girl can only get you two years imprisonment but if you dare assault a boy, then you’re in for a long haul in the Nigerian prisons system.
In order to make no bones about the position of the ‘Nigerian People’ on domestic violence and child abuse the penal code Section 55. (1) states that “Nothing is an offence which does not amount to the infliction of child, pupil, grievous hurt upon a person and which is done-…”
(d) by a husband for the purpose of correcting his wife such husband and wife being subject to any customary law in which the correction is recognised as lawful.
This is an express permission for wife-beating insofar as it does not cause grievous harm (S55 of the Penal Code). The defence f:-) or reasonable chastisement is that the husband and wife are subject to native law and custom that recognises such corrections.
In Nigerian English, you may beat your wife or child, as long as you do not cause “grievous harm” to them, the question now is, who measures what “grievous harm” is, does it mean you may break an arm or a leg as long as it’s not totally detached from your victim’s body, or is there a specific amount of blood, considered “grievous”?
From the above, it is apparent that Justista has no business adorning our halls of “justice”, the law in Nigeria is blind to equality, Nigerian law is not a lady ... Nigerian law is not a gentleman.

In Defense of World Rapists Day

Going through my TL on twitter today I read that a wonderful man of god, Reverend Ogechi Ofurum, claims that rape is justified because of the way ladies dress ‘indecently’. Sometime last year Katsina’s State Attorney-General, Alhaji Ibrahim Dan-Soho made a case for rapists, in his own words ‘rapes are self-inflicted 90% of the time’. For those of you who do not understand English, this means most rape victims either rape themselves or force somebody to rape them!

I am not here to insult the ‘revered’ gentleman , who should be Christ-like in his approach to life and the people he’s supposed to shepherd or the intelligent Alhaji, who should be a vanguard of hope in our judiciary. Nope! I’m here to defend their reasoning and to advocate for a World Rapists Day, which I believe should coincide with Christmas or any other religious holiday during which love is preached, it would be so apt!

I was raped the first time I had sex. It was an older and trusted person who did me the favour of punishing me for being young and foolish. He is a hero! He cured me of my virginity, showed me that men cannot be trusted and taught me how to defend myself from would be rapists.

After the first time, two more men attempted to rape me, one a very close friend and the other the Pastor of a church I used to attend (thank heavens the guy cured me of all romantic beliefs in the sanctity of the church). Suffice to say that the two men rued the day they met me ... but enough about me.

To all sane men and women who are reading this piece, you who protest that rape is wrong, that it is dehumanizing, that it is a crime, I beg you to stop and move to the other side, let us form an association of ‘Nigerians Earnestly ask for Rapists’. We should hold a ‘One Million Man March for Rape.’ Yes, you read that correctly.

Rape should be legalized. Actually that’s why I love Nigeria, in a nice quiet way it is legal, on paper (as most of our laws are) it is a crime, but if you accidentally enter a police station to report a rape case you will be cured of all desire to ever do such again! You would be treated like a criminal! You would be asked questions meant to embarrass and anger you. You’d be treated like a pariah! You would be spoken to as if you just went in to the police station to confess a murder. God help you if you are vulnerable (eg a woman living alone, a young girl below the age of 18 or someone from a poor home).

By the way, in this great country of ours abortion is also quite illegal (like a lot of important things that would make life easier for women). So most women go to ‘doctors’ who specialize in abortions, men and women who have, in most likelihood, never seen the walls of a medical school before in their lives! These women (the word ‘woman’ is interchangeable with ‘sinner’ by the way) pay for it with their health and in a lot of cases their lives.

Women are nothing more than things in this country, you’re owned, first by your parents or male relatives who have the right to do anything they like with you. The paedophiles amongst them will molest you and the greedier ones will sell you off to the highest bidder given half the chance.

But I digress.

All rapists should be canonized. A lot of people would agree with me that too many women these days dress so indecently (including yours truly) .We go around baring parts of our bodies which should be only seen by the people who own the money on our ‘heads’, the person who has officially bought us by either sliding a ring on our fingers or better still paid the bride price. But no! We prefer to walk around the streets half naked, baring our breasts and arses to anybody who cared to look, we deserve nothing more than rape and nothing less than death sentences. Death to all sexy dressers! Off with their (our?) heads!

Although most rapists would not grab and rape us for being so dressed on the streets, rather they go home with their turgid wieners and rape the nearest girl (ages 3months to 99years). Rapists should be canonized. The fear of a rapist is the beginning of wisdom.

These men who lack self-control keep our society sane! They keep the women in their rightful place (the kitchen) and populate the face of the earth with children from their diseased loins. Yes rapists are heroes! They deserve 16 virgins when they get to heaven, who they can serially rape to their hearts’ content.

Rapists are wonderful, they are everywhere, they live among us. They believe they are god’s gift to women, the best thing since sliced bread. They are Superman, Spiderman and Robocop, all rolled into one great big specimen of manhood.

I know a lot of times in the process of raping a girl they also tend to beat them up, both physically and mentally, but all that does not matter, after all, men beat women up all the time, even women they are not married to.

I raise a toast to all rapists and encourage you all to continue doing the world this huge favour. We shall constitute a special squad for you called the Rapid Response Rape Team (RRRT) within the police ranks (a great opportunity for Policemen who specialize in raping sex workers). Where you will all be allowed to rape women and (if you swing that way) men who have not lived up to the high standards you guys live by.

You will be given the right to abuse anybody that dresses ‘indecently’ ... I wonder what happened to the ‘Act against indecent dressing in public’ passed by the Lagos State government (Eko o ni b’aje o) a few years ago. Such Acts would be resurrected. In fact rape victims should be arrested and thrown in jail (after they’ve been raped of course!).

We, as Nigerians, deserve the country we live in, we deserve the leaders in power presently, we deserve every humiliation these people mete out to us. When we are not giving our money to pastors, (who spend it on living the lives we dream about) with the hope that the Great Lord Above, will double it for us and turn us into overnight millionaires without us having to work too hard. We are out there condemning the very acts we indulge in, if not in reality but in our fantasies (the ‘gay marriage’ issue comes to mind).

We follow people blindly and refuse to question people in authority because we are cowardly and ignorant. We all want to go to heaven but we do not want to die. Ignorance and hypocrisy are the two words we live by. One thing by day, another by night.

We are sanctimonious and holy, we are all children of the Great White God who dwells in Heaven and the Great Black Man who dwells in RCCG on the expressway between Lagos and Ibadan.

We are always right and we can quote the bible passages our pastors quote at us word for word.

We are Nigerians, we Love and Defend rapists, the same way we defend our friends and relatives in government who are blatantly robbing us blind. If we had half the chance we would do EXACTLY the same.

Yes we would rape and plunder. We would steal from the mouth of the poor, employ underage children as maids, rape any girl that takes our fancy, pay our employees poorly or not at all (since there are many desperate people out there looking for jobs). Yes we can!

We are Nigerians. We defend the rights of men to rape. We want a World’s Rapist Day to encourage our men to rape in a more violent way, to rape more often. Rapists are Heroes!

I weep for my country.